🕳️ Desperate for Dominance: Submission in D|s-M
The Hare’s Ache, the Fox’s Awakening, and the Madness of Becoming His
“You didn’t just ask to walk into these woods… You stripped, knelt in the dark, and begged to be claimed, as the rain fell. That’s not madness. That’s devotion.” — The Fox
🐇 THE HARE’S WHISPER: “Take me deeper…”
There’s a moment in every submissive woman’s journey when desire curdles into desperation. When the ache for structure, ownership, and erotic authority becomes almost unbearable. When following the White Rabbit leads you not into fantasy, but into a place of emotional hunger.
You want more than vanilla sex.
You want less than consent.
You want your **husband, **your **partner, **to become your Dominant, your LEADER.But he’s not there yet.
And Wonderland is not mapped exactly the same for every couple.
☕️ MAD HATTER WISDOM: “We’re all quite mad here. Especially when it comes to love and power.”
The Mad Hatter once told the Hare, “You can’t teach a Fox to hunt by begging. But you can awaken him with respect & devotion.”
Translation?
You can’t make your partner into a Dominant by nagging, explaining, or dragging him through checklists. But you can shift reality by how you show up at the tea party of your marriage.You can plant a seed, water it with worship, and feed it with rituals that smell like surrender and feel like fire.
🦊 THE FOX’S MOMENT: “She asked me to lead her into D|S-M”. And I didn’t know how—but “HELL YEAH”, I wanted to learn.”
When you finally reveal to your husband:
“I want you to become my Dominant.”
…it is not a light ask. It is a spell. A truth potion. A drop down the rabbit hole into something more profound than sex, scarier than kink, and more sacred than either.
How He Might Feel:
- Unworthy: “I don’t know enough to lead her.”
- Afraid of Hurting You: “What if I go too far?”
- Excited but Confused: “Do I need gear? Do I need a name?”
- Overwhelmed: “Wait… this isn’t just role-play?”
- Turned On: Even if he doesn’t say it out loud.
- I thought this was for Swingers: NOT D|s-M
Mr. Fox’s Wis-DOM:
“A Dominant isn’t born. He is called. And then—if the call is answered—he is built by devotion, trial, and the ache of a woman who dares to kneel at his feet.”
Verbal Affirmation Is Essential:
Let him hear it. Speak your desire aloud, often. Remind him that this is not a phase, a trend, or something you’ll grow out of. Say:
“This is real for me.”
“When you take control, I feel safe and seen.”
“You being my Dominant is what I crave, not a fantasy, but our new truth.”
And don’t forget to verbally stroke his Dominance daily:
“Thank you for leading me.”
“I loved when you took control at dinner.”
“It made me wet when you corrected me today.”
He needs to hear it, repeatedly, to believe it.
🛠️ BUILDING THE husDOM: First Steps into the Madness
A new Dominant might not feel like a Dom at all. He may feel more like a mad tea guest handed a whip and asked to host the ceremony.
But here’s how you’ll know he’s engaging:
- He tells you when to kneel.
- He corrects your behavior with a steady look.
- He helps create rituals and starts to shape his own.
- He stops treating sex like a coin toss and starts treating it like a claim.
- He needs time alone after leading. Like a Fox after the hunt, breathing in the scent of what he’s just caught.
🐾 Fox Fact:
First-time Dominants can experience Dom-drop, an emotional crash from the adrenaline of control.
Signs: quiet reflection, sexual fatigue, hyper-self-awareness, or even withdrawal.
What to do: Let him retreat. Let him process. Then… kneel again.
🎩 RITUALS TO HELP HIM BECOME DOM
Remember: You’re not building him into your fantasy. You’re helping him become a version of himself you’ve only tasted in your darkest, most devotional dreams.
🔮 *Ritual 1: The Offering *
- At dusk, set a single candle between you.
- Kneel beside his chair, and place your collar or cuffs on the table.
- Say:“Sir, I offer you my obedience. My ache. My trust. I offer submission, if you’ll dare to lead me.”
Then walk away. Do not beg. Let silence seduce.
🖤 Ritual 2: The Silent Respect & Obedience Game
For seven days, follow one unspoken command you’ve invented for yourself:
- No underwear.
- Kneeling before bed, asking to get in before lying down, or asking to be tucked in.
- Asking permission for dessert or orgasm.
- Ask him about his day, then refrain from adding; stay quiet until he asks something of you.
Do not announce it. Let him feel the shift. Let his DOM instincts sharpen.
🌬️ Ritual 3: Breath of the Burrow
Each night, perform the Dominant Touch Ritual:
- The sub (Hare) lies down, blindfolded by her Sir.
- The Dom (Fox) places his hand on her lower belly or vulva
- Together, they breathe in for 4 seconds, hold for 4 seconds, and release for 4 seconds.
- The Fox whispers | The Hare Responds“You are mine.” | Yes, Sir
“You are safe.” | Yes, Sir
“I will lead you deeper.” | Yes, Sir
📓 HARE’S JOURNAL PROMPTS
Use these during your personal reflection or as discussion starters during your downtime talks with your Fox:
- “What does submission feel like in my body today?”
- “What does my ideal Dominant sound like, smell like, act like?”
- “What scares me about asking for what I crave?”
- “Where have I already seen signs of his Dominance?”
- “What part of me feels safest when he is in control?”
🪞WHAT IF HE DOESN’T LEAD YET?
You followed the steps. You revealed your truth. You asked him to become your Dominant. You may have even walked through the beginning stages of the D|s-M Method together, sharing roles, creating rituals, and opening your heart. But now… he’s stalled.
He’s not leading. Not claiming. Not initiating.
And the ache returns.
Before anything else, check your foundations for cracks. Did you do a purge and clean out all skeletons?
Did you initially complete your Formal Acceptance? Have you discussed the fact that this is not a fantasy, but a structure you must build together? The D|s-M Method is a team effort. If the framework wasn’t laid with intention, go back. Start again with reverence and clarity.
But if the foundation is there, you have cleaned your slate, and he’s still not engaging? Then it’s time to shift focus. Give him a little more time to process. But you don’t wait. You become.
You become a soul / sole subMrs—not just by title, but by embodiment. This is your time to deepen your self-awareness, discipline, and service. To study your role, understand his, and learn the psychology, eroticism, and spiritual ritual of D|s-M.
Become a better teacher by setting a good example, not by giving corrections. Become a better submissive through consistency, not control.
And if over time, he remains disengaged, unsure, or even resistant… there’s help designed just for you.
L.K., the voice of the Hare, offers private Intimacy Coaching for individuals and couples. If your husband or partner is struggling to lead, or if you need someone to help you embody your role, you can work directly with L.K. and or Mr. Fox at:
👉 https://secretintimacycoach.com
They helps couples move through the D|s-M Method, learn the mindset of their roles, and offers situational coaching to rebuild connection, eroticism, and direction.
Whether your Fox needs a precise map or you need emotional support while waiting for him to step up, this is a sacred path made just to help you.
Other Options You Can Explore:
- Watch or read D|s-M stories or films together, then discuss what resonated.
- Join the forums at husDOM.com and subMrs.com, read, reflect, and share what inspires you.
- Try a guided ritual session or write a script and ask him to add to it, sparking his imagination.
- Create a shared journal: one where you write questions and he responds when ready.
The Mad Hatter would say:
“If the tea isn’t hot enough, perhaps we need to stir the pot.”
As the Hare/subMrs, continue to practice:
- Kneeling in the morning, even if alone.
- Journaling your cravings like spells.
- Edging with permission. Keep the sexual wanting.
- Wearing cuffs hidden under vanilla clothes.
- Keep doing domestic services that you did as vanilla, such as serving his coffee or meal, but now think and do them as a submissive act.
- Practice posture, presence, and patience.
The Mad Hatter once told the Hare, “Even alone, you are sacred in your surrender. He will catch up… if you leave the breadcrumbs made of respect & obedience.”
💭 SIGNS YOUR FOX IS BEGINNING TO HUNT
He might not say, “I’m your Dominant.”
But look for these signs:
- EYE CONTACT: He watches you kneel with quiet hunger.
- VERBALIZING DOM: He says “good girl” even outside the bedroom.
- TOUCH: He holds the back of your neck, NAPE, or any other part of your body, longer than necessary.
- CORRECTION: He corrects your tone, your dress, your pace.
- STUDY: He starts reading husDOM.com articles in secret.
🖤 TINY TEASE SCENE: At the Edge of the Burrow
The Hare’s knees sank into moss as twilight crept into the woods. The Fox stood over her, silent, waiting.
She tilted her chin up. Her hands behind her back, her heart pounding against the harness that binds her chest.
“Have you come into the wood to submit, or to be taken?” he asked.
She swallowed.
“Both, Sir.”
He circled her once. Fingers brushing her hairline. Then, tugging the blindfold into place.
“Then silence. Open your mouth. This is my Wonderland now.”
He pushed her two favorite fingers down her throat, testing her reflex, working her throat. No sight, she could hear only the rhythm of her breath, short and hungry to please. She smells the moss in the air. She feels the canopy above her watching her torment.
Suddenly, a loud “snap” echoes through the trees. The Fox had drawn a crop across his palm.
“Hands on the earth.”
She obeyed, fingers curling into the dirt. Knees apart, spread, just the way she knows he likes. The soft leather kissed the underside of her thighs, a whisper of pain, a promise.
“You crave more than permission,” he murmured near her ear. “You crave transformation.”
Another strike. She moaned into the warm fall air.
“Say it.”
“I crave your control, Sir.”
“And you shall have it. But only when you earn it.”
He pressed a smooth, cool object against her lips, an apple, cut in half. She bit it, juice sliding down her chin.
“In Wonderland, the fruit is always forbidden. And the surrender comes with a price.”
Then she hears his belt loosen and his zipper fall.
And her descent begins.
🐇 BUNNY WHISPER
You followed the White Rabbit, not knowing where it would lead.
And now, you ache beneath moonlight, whispering to the dark:
“Take me, Sir. Not because you must. But because I want to be destroyed by you so you can rebuild me once again.”
Let him become your Mad Hatter.
Let the Fox stir inside him.
Let devotion be your descent,
And his dominance is your Wonderland.
