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MSS010 – Orgasm Training and Control

Orgasm Training and Control

Description

In this podcast episode, we have a little phrase, la petite mort, the female’s little death. 

And you asked me what does that means? It’s an expression in France that means the brief loss or weakening of the consciousness, and in modern usage refers specifically to the sensation of post-orgasmic that’s likened to death.

This episode of Marriage’s Sexiest Secret talks all about female orgasms. It begins with an in-depth discussion about what is actually happening to the woman’s body during a female orgasm. 

This episode dives deep into BDSM training and control of the female orgasm.  Mr. Fox and lk also share a lot of their personal experience with orgasm training.

Here are the topics that you can expect to learn about in this podcast.

  • Voyeur’s Glimpse
  • Intro
  • Lets Talk Orgasms
  • What Happens During a Female Orgasm
  • Winking
  • Orgasms are also a big part of the mind
  • Orgasm Control
  • Orgasm Edging
  • Orgasm Denial
  • In contrast to Orgasm Denial
  • Why use Orgasm Control
  • Orgasm Force and Denial
  • Forced Orgasm
  • Multiple or Forced Orgasm
  • Total Sexual Denial
  • Use of a Dildo during Orgasm Training
  • Beginning Training and Honing her Skills
  • Orgasm Training and Control Rules
  • Orgasm Training Cues
  • Verbal Cues
  • Visual Cue
  • Touching Cue
  • Count Down
  • Sound Cues
  • Edging and Forced Orgasm

Show Notes

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Media

Orgasm Training and Control

Speakers

  • Mr. Fox
  • Little Kaninchen

Transcript

SUMMARY KEYWORDS

orgasm, orgasms, edging, submissive, dominant, climax, stimulation, training, clitoris, talk, scene, dildo, body, control, vagina

Mr. Fox   00:00

Bonjour! Welcome to Marriages. Sexiest Secret Podcast. This is Mr. Fox and LK. Marriage’s Wonderland resident Fox and Hare. Today we are your host and hostess to your favorite flavor of madness. Married Dominance and submission. Marriages Sexiest Secret. That’s a lot of secrets going on.

Little Kaninchen  00:23

I love secrets

Little Kaninchen  00:28

Just in time queuing to French music. I love it.

Little Kaninchen  00:32

Let’s start with our voyeur’s glimpse into today’s podcast. Ah, the French. Always so romantic, don’t you agree?

Mr. Fox   00:41

I do.

Little Kaninchen  00:42

In today’s podcast, we have a little phrase that goes along with it and it happens to be French. The phrase is La petite morte.

Little Kaninchen  00:51

More specifically la petite mort, the females little death.

Little Kaninchen  00:58

And you asked me what does that mean? It’s an expression in France that means the brief loss or weakening of the consciousness, and in modern usage refers specifically to the sensation of post-orgasmic that’s likened to death.

Little Kaninchen  01:19

Today we examine the female orgasm and inspire marriages sexiest secret couples to try orgasm training and control.

Little Kaninchen  01:28

It’s like living on the edge. And I won’t sing Bon Jovi for you. But yes, it’s living on the edge.

Mr. Fox   01:35

You’re sure you don’t want to sing LK?

Little Kaninchen  01:36

I’m sure.

Little Kaninchen  01:40

Let’s get started.

Little Kaninchen  01:43

Do you want to know a secret? Secret! Do you want to have a secret? A dirty little secret? A secret that you build and share with your spouse? A secret that is so magical and so intimate in ways you could only imagine? Oh, come on. Wink wink, you must be the smallest bit curious.

Little Kaninchen  02:05

Shh…  Marriage has a sexy new secret, a relationship accessory of sorts. The Secret fulfills the wife’s need for a deep emotional connection with her husband, and the husband’s desire for his wife’s trust and respect. Come fall down a rabbit hole, where Mr. Fox and I share our secrets.

Little Kaninchen  02:26

Secrets that will inspire you to explore, create and build sexual magic in your marriage. Let us take you on a journey that leads you both to what you most desire a sexy, successful marriage. So pick up that bottle that says drink me go ahead and toss it back. In other words, drink the Kool-Aid. We can give you all the edge without you or your marriage ever getting cut.

Mr. Fox   02:53

Let’s get this podcast started LK. Are you ready to experience the chase?

Little Kaninchen  02:59

Oui oui monsieur.

Little Kaninchen  03:01

Come with us fall down the rabbit hole and into the fox’s den where today we invite you to bring your croissants and your espresso and let’s talk orgasms.

Mr. Fox   03:10

Yes!

Little Kaninchen  03:11

Yes.

Little Kaninchen  03:13

Welcome to marriage’s sexiest secret podcast.

Little Kaninchen  03:23

But it’s crazy.

Little Kaninchen  03:34

So let’s talk orgasms. But first, let’s talk about what is happening during a female orgasm. It’s basically during arousal, the blood flow to the genitals increases, causing them to become more sensitive.

Little Kaninchen  03:52

The clitoris which is made up of over 8000 individual nerve endings swells and enlarges. As you get closer to climax. Your clitoris will pull back up under the hood, which is the sheath of skin that protects your clitoris. Your inner labia also begins to swell and your outer lips separate. This is often accompanied by the darkening of color as the blood fills those tissues. The Vagina begins to secrete fluid to lubricate itself and make sex more comfortable. Amazing!

Little Kaninchen  04:24

Along with this lubrication, the lower part of your vagina becomes narrower and the upper part lengthens as your cervix and uterus move up slightly creating the space for your partner’s penis.

Mr. Fox   04:36

or toy.

Little Kaninchen  04:37

Yep. As arousal increases, the person’s heart rate increases, blood pressure increases, breathing rate will increase.  As it approaches the muscles twitch or they spasm. But let’s talk about when women actually climax. There are changes throughout the whole body. A head-to-toe kind of experience happens.  Blood begins, as I said, it engorges the clitoris, vagina, the nipples, and it makes you have a full-body blush. You’ve seen it.  You experienced it I’m sure.  Your chest and your face get all red or pink and rosy. Many artists in the world have painted that exact vision.

Mr. Fox   05:22

You’ve probably seen it on other people in your life. It’s like I know what they were doing.

Little Kaninchen  05:27

Yes, testosterone and neurotransmitters use things like the dopamine running and the serotonin that is flowing through your body. And that’s what starts this whole process. You know, some people say they have some tension, some tingling building throughout their body, your face, your fingers, your feet.  It’s a release of that tension and orgasm that just feel so incredible. You might start to feel a spasm very low down, and then it just increases over your whole body. That’s called my atonia. And it is thought because of the spasming of those pelvic muscles and the organs altogether. It causes everything to move. Did you know Mr. Fox that it actually takes women 20 minutes on average to orgasm?

Mr. Fox   06:21

No, I didn’t. And I would say from our experience, it matters what we’re doing. Because there are certain things that I think rip orgasms from you.

Little Kaninchen  06:30

Yes, absolutely. That’s when you’re controlling or training the orgasm. But in general, when women are just having sex, it takes them 20 minutes to orgasm on average.

Mr. Fox   06:41

I think that’s great. Back to what you were just talking about, with all the tension relief and everything that an orgasm gives you. I told you, I’ve told you all along that orgasms are the answer to everything.

Little Kaninchen  06:54

Almost.

Mr. Fox   06:55

Maybe that was you telling me

Little Kaninchen  06:56

I think that might have been me saying that?

Mr. Fox   06:59

Well, we definitely agree.

Little Kaninchen  07:00

Yes, we agree on that one. Let’s talk about the plateau, the sexual plateau. That is the build as the precursor to that wonderful climax.  The outer 1/3 of the vagina becomes really engorged with blood. Also, medical researchers show that gentle reflex is part of the spinal cord. And it’s not necessarily under conscious control. So that also leads to actually having an orgasm, so you can’t control it.

Mr. Fox   07:35

That makes perfect sense. I’ll be honest like I learned so much from our own podcast as we go through them. I had no idea. I really didn’t.

Little Kaninchen  07:42

Yes, so interesting. But if we talk a little bit more about orgasm, and we talk about the rhythmic contractions that occur in the uterus in the vagina, and those pelvic floor muscles we all talk about so much. And

Mr. Fox   07:53

I love feeling those

Little Kaninchen  07:56

The sexual tension caused by lovemaking or self-stimulation releases and the muscles throughout the body contract. A feeling of warmth comes from your pelvis and it spreads throughout your entire body. And that is that wonderful feeling you get. And then afterward, what some people would refer to as the resolution.  The body relaxes, the blood flows away from those engorged sexual organs going back to where they belonged. Heart rate, blood pressure, and of course your breathing returns back to normal. Women also have been able to have orgasms through stimulation of breasts are other parts of the body, not just always a vagina, or through the use of sexual imagery without any touch at all. So that means when you’re watching porn, you might be able to just have an orgasm. They’ve also said that they found a nerve pathway outside the spinal cord through the Sensory Vegas nerve that lead women to experience orgasm through sensations transmitted directly to the brain. There are many nerve pathways that are responsible for this orgasm that happens with women.

Mr. Fox   09:09

I want to know where that pathway is.

Little Kaninchen  09:12

You find that pathway quite often. Let me just say that.  The strength of your orgasms also is tied to the health of your pelvic floor muscles. So here’s another reason to do Kegels. Another reason to order a  Yoni Egg on submissive, you have to keep those pelvic floor muscles toned.  The better they contract during orgasms the more pleasure you feel. Like I said, your climax, the actual climax of the orgasm could be a few seconds or it could last a full minute. And that’s kind of the goal. You want that actual climax of that orgasm to last as long as you can make it last.

Mr. Fox   09:57

So that’s really interesting news to me,  So if you keep your pelvic floor muscles active and engaged, you will actually experience a more powerful,

Little Kaninchen  10:10

More pleasurable.

Mr. Fox   10:11

pleasurable orgasm.

Little Kaninchen  10:13

Absolutely.

Mr. Fox   10:14

So all those kegel like you just said the kegel exercises and the Jani or Yoni eggs or whatever they are, all of those things actually increase your pleasure.

Little Kaninchen  10:25

Yes, during your orgasm, before, during, and after.

Mr. Fox   10:30

Hmm. I had no idea.

Little Kaninchen  10:32

If you think about it, all of us ladies who had babies, and after you have the baby, your vagina or your uterus has to contract back into place.

Mr. Fox   10:42

Which is pretty much does naturally.

Little Kaninchen  10:44

Yeah.,

Mr. Fox   10:44

I honestly thought that was like, is it incontinence? Is that the right word? I thought it was for that. And I also thought it was that you guys could manipulate those muscles for more pleasure for me?

Little Kaninchen  10:55

Absolutely. That is it’s like building any other muscle.

Mr. Fox   10:58

Right? But I had no idea that by keeping that muscle exercised or your pelvic floor actually increased or enhanced your own pleasure during an orgasm.

Little Kaninchen  11:09

Yes, it’s a pleasure for you. It’s pleasure for us, it’s pleasure for everybody involved. And it’s not just mental, it’s physical. It’s full body.

Mr. Fox   11:20

So as a good dominant I could give you exercises to do that would help you enjoy your own orgasms better.

Little Kaninchen  11:28

Absolutely. That would be part of the training.

Mr. Fox   11:30

And it would benefit me.

Little Kaninchen  11:33

Again, win, win.

Mr. Fox   11:34

I love this. I love it. Okay, I’ll let you continue.

Little Kaninchen  11:38

Okay, so we were talking about the climax and the contractions that happen. There’s an actual normal range is between one and 12 contractions that let each last from a second to a minute.

Mr. Fox   11:51

Now men are so literal, I know men are gonna be out there counting them now. That was one, that was one, two, three, four.

Little Kaninchen  11:57

Well, she would kind of the contractions she would almost unless you’re just watching her wink, you would basically and I don’t know if people understand what winking is.

Mr. Fox   12:06

Unless you’re inside her.

Little Kaninchen  12:07

Right? You could feel that.

Mr. Fox   12:08

Absolutely.

Little Kaninchen  12:09

If you want to explain about watching someone wink, what does that mean?

Mr. Fox   12:13

Winking is basically when you watch the vagina contract. And release. It’s winking, like an eye.

Little Kaninchen  12:22

Yes. So you can count the contractions by watching the wink

Mr. Fox   12:26

If it is really powerful. It’s like she has something in her eyes like, like,

Little Kaninchen  12:31

Okay, everybody would need that visual. But yeah, so but like I said one to twelve contractions that last from a second to a minute. And when you hear people talk about riding the wave, when you get to do that contraction, each one of those 12 contractions for a minute at a time, or when you’re edging somebody and they contract, but not completely, but that happens over and over, that’s riding a wave. And it’s really good. I would say don’t think that orgasms are just physical or just the body, they’re also the mind.

Little Kaninchen  13:09

Your brain also is releasing chemicals. Like I said earlier, chemicals like oxytocin.  What people also refer to as the intimacy hormone.  The dopamine, that’s that chemical, natural pain killer that we talk about all the time, and dominance and submission. Really, when you’re doing orgasm training or commands, you are getting such a better understanding of how your own body and your mind react to sexual stimulation. It really does help you unlock the knowledge of how you’re reacting, mind and body. So I would say and I tell everybody, this, I’m all about getting to know your partner, getting to know yourself.  Figure out what feels good to you. Every woman has a special thing like a rhythm inside of them when they have an orgasm. And I would say husbands know their wives’ rhythm. But explore that rhythm. Don’t just say all she’s always going to do this because that’s so untrue. As we know, and dominance submission. You grow so much. Don’t always say Oh, I know what her rhythm is. No, I think you should explore that rhythm because rhythms can be changed. And practice, practice, practice. And we know getting to that perfect place where you do your orgasm training. That is the journey and that’s the most fun.

Mr. Fox   14:40

All the women in the world are cheering you on right now when you’re saying have your man practice, practice, practice your orgasms. They’re all like yes LK,

Little Kaninchen  14:49

Well, it’s so true. So that’s just the very beginning of our topic. Next, we’re going into orgasm control and training and I’ll hand it over to Mr. Fox.

Mr. Fox   14:59

Alright. What I would say about the orgasms is I think all the guys know that once we cross that threshold of an orgasm, or maybe two orgasms, or three orgasms, the rest of that sexual interlude becomes quite an experience. Right. And so I mean, orgasms are great for everybody.

Little Kaninchen  15:18

Everybody has a part in it. Let me just say that.

Little Kaninchen  15:24

Partners I mean, both partners have a great benefit and experience on the female side of the orgasm. We’re not even getting into the men’s side of orgasm today, but…

Mr. Fox   15:36

right, it’s the key to

Little Kaninchen  15:40

a happy marriage.

Mr. Fox   15:41

Yeah, complete ecstasy. I mean, it is it’s the pathway so orgasm control and training. Would you agree with that LK?. It opens up everything. Everything’s behind that orgasm.

Little Kaninchen  15:54

I agree.

Mr. Fox   15:55

So when we talk about orgasm control and training, it includes a lot of different topics. It can include the delayed orgasm, orgasm, denial, orgasm on command using triggers, forced orgasms, or not allowing the climaxing to stop right. That’s kind of what the forced orgasm is. So orgasms control is also referred to as edging, peaking, or surfing. It’s a sexual technique that is practiced by almost everybody, I think in the BDSM world. So this can be practiced either with a partner or by yourself. It involves the maintenance of a high level of sexual arousal for an extended period of time without reaching climax.

Mr. Fox   16:42

Edging. Edging is postponing that orgasm to achieve a euphoric type of state of mind.

Mr. Fox   16:50

Orgasm denial, it’s pretty much what we say it is.  Preventing your partner from coming or having her orgasm. So in contrast to orgasm, denial, a dominant can also allow his submissive to have an orgasm with specific parameters as well. One thing that I’ve done with LK, while I’ve been traveling is I’ve instructed LK to use specific toys. And I’ve given her permission to come with one catch, there’s a timeframe. Sometimes I’ll give her an impossible timeframe, one that I don’t think she can accomplish an orgasm in. Right, but I know that she’ll be worked up and she’ll try her hardest because she wants that orgasm, but it’ll almost be impossible. And really, that’s a form of denial. Because she can’t get it. How freaking frustrating is that? And she’s usually really happy to see me when I get home.

Little Kaninchen  17:42

Yeah, it builds. I mean, doing as we talked about through this doing orgasm, honing her skills.

Mr. Fox   17:51

Right?

Little Kaninchen  17:51

It’s part of honing her for your arrival.

Mr. Fox   17:55

Yeah. And again, I mean, that can even be done before you come home from work that day or right, people can change this up a lot to make it fit their lifestyle. And I’m not joking, LK has incredible control over her orgasms. And, you know, I’ll check in like she talks about like our check-in and say, Hey, were you successful? Or were you not? How much time did it take? And I’m honing my skill on if I want her to have an orgasm or not and how much time I give her. And trust me like LK, so good at this control. I’ve given her like 30 seconds. And sometimes she can get it done in 30 seconds.

Little Kaninchen  18:33

Well, I mean, the more you practice, the more you’re sceneing, the more you’re having playtime the more of these types of sessions you have, the better your skill gets. Ladies, I’m not making this up. Like I at one point was so good. We could be standing in Costco, and he could have said the right thing to me. And I would have done it. I mean, I’m practically that good to do it right now. But I won’t do it live.

Mr. Fox   18:56

Should we give it a try?  Hey, I bet this would be the highest-rated podcast we’ve put out.

Little Kaninchen  19:02

Probably. But yeah, so I’m just saying you get really good at it. And it really does help the muscles down there. And that gives you tricks and magic.

Mr. Fox   19:14

But it’s also plain fun. It gives you like, like orgasm training, probably the one of them I want to say easy go tos. I think we all do it to some degree. And then also I might give the LK an almost impossible timeframe.  Right?  Giving her a real opportunity to be able to have an orgasm.

Little Kaninchen  19:31

And your Sir is helping you learn how to do that and then you can perform for him.  So that performance is everything. And I mean when I say that I mean that personally. My performance for my sir is like the number one thing that’s going through my mind the entire time we’re sceening or playing or anything. It is so important to me that my performance makes him ooh and ah.

Mr. Fox   19:58

I don’t want to get sidetracked but honestly, after an orgasm or two, that’s that psychological need that you just talked about. That’s where it becomes like something in your mind like a primal trigger wants to please me. And I will say that lk has some of the best orgasm control, probably of anybody, it is amazing.

Little Kaninchen  20:20

A lot of years of practice.

Mr. Fox   20:22

And as a dominant, there’s still like she can control it so well that I can take her, she can take herself past the point of being able to reach it again and it becomes more out of reach.

Little Kaninchen  20:33

Right.

Mr. Fox   20:33

So like as the dominant I have to think of what my goals are, and where I want the entire thing to end up and make sure that if I’m edging that I’m taking your high enough, like the peaks are getting higher during the edging to where she can still find that O.

Little Kaninchen  20:48

Yeah, we’ll talk more about that later. We’ll talk more about how to know when you’re getting to that level.

Mr. Fox   20:56

There really is an art to it, I think I mean, there’s having orgasms, but when you get into some of this training, and especially the orgasm control, there’s an art on both sides of that control.

Little Kaninchen  21:05

Yeah. Another reason, it also increases submissives tolerance to stimulation.  Like we’re talking about, I think it’s kind of like saying the same thing. But you know, you will begin to be able to control your body in ways to tolerate the stimulation he gives you.  Some sirs like immediate responses, some sirs asked you not to immediately respond. And some days they’ll do one the next day, they’ll do the other. So you’ll be able to do that more and more and more flexibility and stimulation, I guess I should say. So that’s a great thing. Another reason is it increases the duration of sexual activity. So once you can control it better, he can control you and give you those commands, you can increase the duration of your sex or what’s going on probably at least twice fold. Wouldn’t you say, Mr. Fox.

Mr. Fox   22:05

I would say done correctly, I believe it makes you insatiable. Sometimes, if they’re ripped, like I talked about earlier, they’re not the same. But if you can build the layers of orgasms, I think you could go all day. Like your body doesn’t exactly stop. Like I want to say a guy’s body like my body, I think men can have multiple orgasms as well. I cannot. Like I don’t know exactly what that is right? I don’t think I’ve reached that. But women like you, if you get the body started on the right path. It’s almost an endless path. I believe. It’s all those things you just mentioned. The more orgasms the more primed you are.

Little Kaninchen  22:46

I think that’s the case for most of us ladies.

Little Kaninchen  22:49

And then we’ll talk about orgasm control can be used to create a state of sexual need, leading to a more pliable or agreeable outlook for a submissive. So your Sir is using sometimes that orgasm control to change your mindset or to make you more flexible and what you’re trying and doing. Maybe if he’s pushing you in a scene a little bit to push you just a little bit further. That’s the whole idea. He can be using that orgasm control. As he said, I get to the point where I just want to please please please I want to please him. And that’s used for that sometimes as well. Psychologically, orgasm control and training reduce feelings of embarrassment by building body awareness and confidence. And this is something for new Dom’s and subs. This is great when you’re doing this orgasm training or control, it’s a great way to get past that beginning embarrassment. And it will empower the woman to know more about her body and how it works. It will empower the husband in the fact that he is controlling that.

Mr. Fox   24:01

Definitely.

Little Kaninchen  24:02

So by doing this in the beginning, oh, it’s gonna make you grow not only just in dominance submission but as a couple in general and individually, you’re going to grow a ton.

Mr. Fox   24:15

Yeah, there’s definitely something very powerful about being able to command the orgasms or control them. You do not have one without permission and something very powerful about that. I would also say to while we’re talking about orgasms is we also realize that you know, some couples really struggle having an orgasm finding and the orgasm. And I know You talk a lot on submissives about chasing the O. It’s probably too big a topic right here. But I know that we do realize that some people will have challenges finding that initial O, or how to even get into this.

Little Kaninchen  24:49

Like you said we could go on and on but menopausal women, when I’m one of those people, that sometimes they get to the point where they can’t find it and a lot of that is mental. And that’s going to help you to what’s going to help the menopausal woman.  That’s going to help her find her mind and get her mind working with her body again.

Mr. Fox   25:10

Right? And again…

Little Kaninchen  25:11

Again, another whole subject.

Mr. Fox   25:12

It is, but I also found it fascinating at the beginning of this podcast when we were talking about the exercises, and how those exercises actually enhance the lady’s orgasm. I found that fascinating, but there are also physical exercises and things besides the psychological.

Little Kaninchen  25:31

Yeah.

Mr. Fox   25:31

Besides the hormonal?

Little Kaninchen  25:33

As we said, we keep saying orgasm is the answer. We have the facts, to back up that orgasm is the answer for about everything. And I’m not just saying that.

Mr. Fox   25:41

I’ve been saying that since we were kids. It fixes everything.

Little Kaninchen  25:46

I have one more listed that the orgasm control training, it kind of removes the emphasis of physical penetration for what some people call holistic, partnered sex.  There are different sexual techniques that actually tell the man to not spread his seed to save his seed up. Also, if you’re the type of person that seems to always need the clitoris rubbed to have an orgasm, this gives you the chance to practice maybe not having the clitoral all the time, teaching you to have it if he doesn’t touch the clitoris if he just verbalizes to you if he touches you in different places. There are all different ways to have orgasms. And if you’re one of those who are kind of addicted just to have one the virginal or the clitoral, then this gives you a chance to explore other areas.

Mr. Fox   26:45

And not to get too far off the topic again but the clitoris is much more than the little button that we see. Right?  When you talked about the 8000 nerve endings, I mean, it’s a pretty big organ in a woman’s body. So it’s a lot of areas down around the pelvis and stuff a lot of places you can touch that maybe aren’t quite as sensitive as the button.

Little Kaninchen  27:04

There’s so much more than just the button. If the guys are listening, the button is great. But there’s so much more than the button that I think that could be a whole nother podcast.

Little Kaninchen  27:14

There is soo much more than a button.

Mr. Fox   27:16

Yes.

Little Kaninchen  27:17

It’s the easy button, like staples.

Mr. Fox   27:18

And what a great name for it.

Little Kaninchen  27:19

But easy isn’t always better. So then we go into the actual orgasm training in BDSM or in married dominance and submission.  I kind of make sure that we’re talking to married people.  In BDSM a dominant will train his submissive to orgasm or not, right? Orgasm on command. No matter what he does to her body or mind during the scene or session. To experience orgasm control, any method of sexual stimulation or torment can be used. And when I say torment, if you already are doing this, you know exactly what I mean. Sometimes it’s like a delicious torment. That’s how I would describe it. The dominant will stimulate their submissive, gradually bringing them up to the highest point of their sexual plateau. Then he’ll quickly reduce the level of stimulation just below that needed little trigger for that full-on orgasm. When the control of the orgasm is given to the dominant partner and the orgasm is not allowed for a time in order to develop an increased level of sexual tension. It’s called erotic sexual denial. Or you hear that term all the time now edging

Mr. Fox   28:34

Yeah, we talked about edging a lot on husDOM.

Little Kaninchen  28:38

Yeah, I’m gonna start singing 30 Seconds to Mars closer to the edge, but I won’t sing.

Mr. Fox   28:42

No, go ahead. Everybody would love that. I would love it.

Little Kaninchen  28:44

Yeah, no, no, no, nobody would love it. But hey out there to all the other 30 Seconds to Mars lovers like me love you, Jared Leto. But in learning to train a submissive the dominant carefully vary the intensity and speed of the simulation. And by practicing this with his subMrs to learn their unique responses, he can hold her in a highly aroused state, just near orgasm or on the edge. This process may be repeated over and over as many times as dominant desires. But at some point, the repetition may cause the urge to orgasm to become overwhelming.  Which isn’t that what he wants to do?  That’s the torment. When a husDOM provides enough stimulation for the submissive to achieve that climax, it’s usually stronger due to the increased tension of the arousal that builds up during that extended stimulation. And then on the other side of this, if the orgasm occurs after removal of the dominance stimulation, it can bring less pleasure due to your mind telling you that you just failed on holding back and as orgasm is considered by your dominant to be what people termed the’ ruined orgasm’ as opposed to being the denied orgasm.  Another reason for you to receive his punishments, wink wink, funishments, punishments.

Mr. Fox   30:05

And like I was told  LK I really don’t like the word ruined orgasms, but kind of like what she’s getting to receive another punishment. It would be just another orgasm to lead to another opportunity. Not necessarily a ruined orgasm, it would be an opportunity.

Little Kaninchen  30:21

Right. But if you’re like a performer like me, I want to perform for my sir. And if I do it, and he’s told me not to, and I do it anyway, I know he’s not disappointed, but you do feel like you disappointed maybe yourself or not reacted the way you were asked to. So that’s the whole idea. It’s the mindfuck it’s the whole idea of the entire thing. So again, another reason to get a funishment if you end up ruining an orgasm.

Mr. Fox   30:50

It would ramp up so quickly, right then LK, that you wouldn’t even think about in your mind that something went wrong.

Little Kaninchen  30:55

Yeah, you know, I punished myself for that.

Mr. Fox   30:57

You would be thinking holy shit, what’s coming.

Little Kaninchen  30:59

Right. Because the submissive’s mind isn’t really thinking super logically. So yeah, she might be upset in her mind that she has failed you. But a good dominant knows that about their submissive and then he makes something trigger something else that again, you don’t hold on to that because you’re not really thinking logically. So you may think that for a second, but then you let go of that pretty quickly.

Mr. Fox   31:26

Because we’d be going somewhere else pretty quickly.

Little Kaninchen  31:28

Right. So the flip side of orgasm control, right? A dominant may want to test his orgasm control. That he has over his own body and will practice edging himself while edging his submissive. So he may want to test himself how he can go and stop, go get high, high, high stop.  Get high high high. That could be for him as well. Not just for her. So you know, that’s a whole nother could be a whole nother podcast, but I’m gonna turn it over to orgasm force and denial by bondage to Mr. Fox.

Mr. Fox   32:07

By bondage.

Little Kaninchen  32:09

Bond. James Bond, no bondage, James bondage. That would make a great porno. Don’t you think?

Mr. Fox   32:16

I’ll bet you LK.

Little Kaninchen  32:17

James bondage.

Mr. Fox   32:19

I’ll bet you there is already a porno named James Bondage.

Mr. Fox   32:23

A forced orgasm is consensual BDSM or kinky sexual play. It’s when a person or in our case a submissive consents to be forced to orgasm in a way that is beyond their control. The dominant makes his submissive orgasm over and over and over. Without that comedown period between each orgasm right without cycling it back and forth and trying to reach higher highs and coming back off that threshold like edging. Instead, it’s just you take a right there and it’s just bang, bang bang orgasm after orgasm with zero breaks and intensity. Force orgasms can be induced with manual stimulation of the genitals, right like your hand, your finger a vibrator, a wand, whatever tool we’re talking about. To be able to better control or train an orgasm of a submissive physical restraints are commonly used and that’s what LK is talking about with bondage.

Little Kaninchen  32:23

(Sinnging)

Little Kaninchen  33:27

(sinnging)

Mr Fox   33:30

The whole bondage thing though, like there’s a whole nother layer of psychological torment.  Right? You increase that feeling of helplessness, and a little bit of humiliation probably. Oftentimes, this is also called the tie and tease.  Right?  If you’re edging it, you tie them up and you tease them. I don’t think that even needed an explanation, to be honest. But that’s that edging or that denial game that we’re doing. Right? And again, when you add that bondage there is a is physical, but it’s also a lot of psychological intensity that’s going on, because it adds multiple layers, right? strong feelings of sexual frustration are escalated by the sensation of helplessness. And that’s really from being tied up, being bound. Regarding multiple or forced climax, the dominant can also enjoy producing multiple orgasms, in his partner, I can tell you that I enjoy that very much. And also forcing the orgasms from her one by one by delicious one. While you’re doing those things, you can say a lot of wonderful things about the orgasms and the next one, and if she’s going to be allowed to have the next one.

Little Kaninchen  34:42

Use your five senses.

Mr. Fox   34:44

Yes. Yeah, what you say to her can also be incredible while she’s having an orgasm.

Little Kaninchen  34:50

We’re gonna go into total sexual denial next, okay.

Mr. Fox   34:53

I don’t know if I’m gonna like this.

Little Kaninchen  34:55

I can tell you I don’t think anybody likes it, but it really does, Like, if you put somebody out in the desert for like, I don’t know, what they say you can live like how long without any water or food?

Mr. Fox   35:07

Three days with no water, I think.

Little Kaninchen  35:09

Okay, so if you put them out in the desert for like two and a half days, and you bring them in and you give them like the best water ever, it’s kind of that same idea. So, the practice of total sexual denial usually includes total avoidance of any type of genital stimulation to any part of the body, meaning nothing,  Many times it involves the use of a physical barrier, or even a device like a chastity belt, say. Chastity belts are like locking device that you can use on a man or woman. Remember, the brain is the largest sexual organ. And even without general stimulation, sexual arousal is still possible. Heck is not even just arousal, orgasm is possible. You can even put the belt into your orgasm training. It could be your submissives favorite turn on our fetish.

Mr. Fox   36:02

And it is though like we talked about like if I as the dominant own your orgasms, if I as the dominant own your pussy, if I as the dominant own your body, if I as the dominant own your pleasure. We talk about that right? And those are things we verbalize. But if I’ve locked up under lock and key, your pleasure center.

Little Kaninchen  36:23

Like that pleasure center.

Mr. Fox   36:25

You don’t, I know you don’t, LK you’re so creative you’re like what the hell is he talking about? But if we put that under lock and key right now it’s tangible, it takes it to another psychological level. So I’d say back into the mindfuck of the whole thing.

Little Kaninchen  36:39

And I have a funny little side note, that makes me think about it. Well, you know, for 10 years, practically now, we’ve been doing this and we’ve had the community and one of the infamous submissive screen names was or are still we still talk about to this day. And I’m sorry if you’re listening right now, but you know who you are, his hole. So like we talk about his hole all the time when we tell women to please use a screen name that they love and their husband loves. So it’s kind of funny, but we still talk about the screen name his hole.

Mr. Fox   37:16

it’s hilarious.

Little Kaninchen  37:16

Sorry, his hole, wherever you are. If you hear me, you know who you are.  You’re probably still on the site, but it’s just so funny.

Mr. Fox   37:24

It’s great.

Little Kaninchen  37:25

We’re also going to talk about the use of a dildo during orgasm training and control. I mean, it’s pretty self-explanatory what I just said but a dildo can be used by the dominant to still allow penetration with a submissive all the while denying his submissive the ability to orgasm. So this removal of using his actual penis can be seen as a form of total denial if the dildo replaces the penis throughout the whole duration of their scene. The dildo can be used to prolong penetrative sex, for the dominant in cases of ED or any other issue. You know, we talked about that a lot for you know, use of adult a good dildo, you can’t preach enough about having a good dildo. Using this dildo then satisfies a dominant partner’s need to control his submissives orgasms.

Mr. Fox   38:19

I’m going to add even to that whole using the dildo in the case of Ed. I don’t know, the statistic for a guy’s average length of an erection at any age. But you know, we can have scenes that are one hour, two hours, three hours, four hours. So to think that during that scene, you’re gonna have an erection the whole time is unrealistic for sure. So the use of a dildo, I would think for any age bracket guy, whether he has any ED or any difficulty whatsoever would be a great tool to extend penetration and orgasms and just to extend that whole length of play.

Little Kaninchen  38:55

Yeah. And, you can use it during your orgasm training. You know, if you have a sassy, submissive, say, you know, you’re going to say, Well, I’m going to take me away and use the dildo tonight.

Mr. Fox   39:10

Right, which is great on so many levels, like even that psychological. I mean, she will be begging for your cock.

Little Kaninchen  39:16

The real thing.

Mr. Fox   39:17

Right? Not just fill my hole, but the real cock she’ll want it. She’ll be begging for it.

Little Kaninchen  39:23

Yeah. So there you go.

Mr. Fox   39:25

There is not much hotter than your submissive begging for your cock.

Little Kaninchen  39:28

Yes.

Mr. Fox   39:29

And really needing it.

Little Kaninchen  39:31

Right.  There’s nothing sexier feeling to a submissive either to be begging for it.

Mr. Fox   39:39

Alright, and beginning training and honing her skills.  We’re talking about during training a dominant might allow a submissive to masturbate.  Maybe without orgasm.  And that would be to hone her skills and pleasing him. He may instruct her to masturbate and how many times she can during the day ask her to take herself right to that very edge of climax. So she’s edging herself.  And then stop.  And instructor to push yourself right to the very, very, very edge. This way she learns that her orgasms are owned by her dominant. And eventually, she’ll also practice better control of her own orgasms during scenes and play. Practice makes perfect.

Little Kaninchen  40:18

Lots of practice, practice practice,

Little Kaninchen  40:20

We can talk a little bit about so many people talk about rules during orgasm training and control. I would say there’s really one most important foundational rule is tell your submissive to always ask for permission before coming. Make it clear that the rule always applies to her during scenes play. Other rules are always when you say unique to the scene or the dominance preferences?

Mr. Fox   40:54

Yeah, to be honest, I would say the whole rule is unique to each couple. So in our case, for lk and myself, we have a rule, a standing rule, and it’s been from the beginning. And that is that, LK or my submissive needs to have explicit permission in order to come. And really, that rule probably comes from me wanting to own all of her, like own her physically and psychologically and own her body, and the control of her body, such as her orgasms.

Little Kaninchen  41:30

We can talk a little bit about the different cues that are used during training and control. We’ll talk first about verbal cues, most dominance, right, Mr. Fox?  Their common goal is to have their submissives orgasm with a verbal command. That’s what you hear in books. That’s what you read. That’s what everybody kind of starts there. This is a word or short phrase that triggers the orgasm to happen. Also, I have to say, it’s the way a verbal command is said or his tone of voice.  How he uses the command, or the trigger, or the word. And I just kind of laugh to myself when I think about this. Can you imagine like, if you were in the grocery store, and your word was like chicken?  You know, roasted chicken. And then you’re in the line and somebody comes over the speaker and says, roasted chicken $3.99 today?

Mr. Fox   42:30

LK, it’s like ooo,

Little Kaninchen  42:33

Yes, yeees. And you’d have one of those Harry Met Sally moments. With everybody standing there. I think that’s pretty funny.

Mr. Fox   42:41

That’s hilarious.

Little Kaninchen  42:42

We have the touching cue. The touching cue is the touch in the right place of your choice.  That can be super powerful.  It could be like your low back.  It can be a slap on your ass. I’ve seen some people talk about slapping the bottom of the left foot. You really have to be thinking because if he slaps your right foot, that’s not it, and he’ll try and trick you. So the touch cue is pretty important.

Little Kaninchen  42:42

So the verbal cue has the tone of voice and the way he commands it. So just remember that. And you can always think about having an orgasm in the grocery store too.  Visual cues.  Let’s talk a little bit about visual cues, shall we.  A couple can use a visual cue. And again, it’s just self-explanatory, but your dom may, like certain hand motions, or the use of numbers or digits on the finger that’s used. I mean, they’ve been used sometimes in positions, the visual cue.  So you know, he could flash you three fingers sideways, or something like that. That’s your visual cue.  Something he does that you see that will trigger the orgasm command.

Little Kaninchen  43:52

The countdowns of course.

Little Kaninchen  43:54

It’s the final countdown. (Singing)

Little Kaninchen  43:56

Yes, that’s Europe from 1986.  This is probably the most used form of orgasm command un de Trois. Since we’re talking French. Right? This is the most successful since counting or countdowns are used with your submissive regularly in scenes in play. So he’s counting down till you’re allowed to come.

Little Kaninchen  44:19

Sound cues. I would say the snap of a finger.  You can use timers or alarms on your iPhones out there to do different things you might want to trip us up with the wrong sound.  The sound of a bell toll or a sound of something else and then have a helicopter on there and then trapper into responding to the wrong sound right?

Mr. Fox   44:42

I think you’re right and every podcast somehow you’re bringing this back to aviation not me.

Little Kaninchen  44:47

Ah, ok.

Mr. Fox   44:49

I love it.

Little Kaninchen  44:50

I don’t know I think that is how my mind works now.

Mr. Fox   44:51

What kind of helicopter?

Little Kaninchen  44:52

See what you have done to me?

Little Kaninchen  44:53

You’re in all these noises I want to like upload a helicopter now

Little Kaninchen  44:56

After so many years with you, I guess it’s just…

Mr. Fox   44:59

I love it. I really do

Little Kaninchen  45:01

Transforming me. Um, I’ll hand it over…

Mr. Fox   45:05

Little by little, I’m transforming you.  Little by little.

Little Kaninchen  45:07

I’m going to hand it over to you to talk about how you know to stop edging your partner and letting them come.

Mr. Fox   45:18

If you’re edging or practicing forced orgasms with your submissive, listen to her communicate with them continuously. If the dominant Miss reads her subtle cues, the submissive may even use a safe word to let the dominant know that she is physically spent past her limit. Communicating with each other is key. Can she still communicate effectively? Is she spurring you on?  Is she still making noises of enjoyment? A dominant should be mindful when denying orgasms may be leading to a half, or altogether disappearing orgasm. When this happens, you may not feel the full-body effects of orgasms, like vaginal contractions.  You may feel like you’re getting her right to the edge, but never actually getting her to orgasm. Even when you’ve been stimulating her in the usual ways. When your submissive is having these symptoms as a physical sign, she is no longer able to proceed.

Little Kaninchen  46:15

Okay, so I have a couple of common questions that I get asked every single time when it comes to orgasm training and control that the ladies asked me. And one of them is when do we do orgasm control and training? Well, the question is, when do you want to do it? Whenever you both Deem yourselves ready to start doing sessions. And that leads to the other question, how do you do it? You do it in scenes playtime or sessions.  You can call it whatever you want. And it’s just a little period of time where you practice that.  It could be 30 minutes, that’s the question I get is, how long does it take? It can take as long as you’re sir wants.  It can take as long as you want. I usually tell people to try doing it annually to add some freshness to your dynamic and you can also show off your spouse how far you have come literally or figuratively. Also, people ask about aftercare. Do I still do aftercare after training? Well, of course.  You should always do aftercare. I also advise people to make sure in your downtime discussion afterward, what worked and what didn’t work for you both? Right? I mean, you should talk about it. See what worked. What didn’t? HusDom’s and their little black book journals? They can journal their thoughts. What worked for them.  What worked for their subMrs.  Those little black books are pretty handy. I would say.  Mr. Fox, your little black book is pretty handy when you write your little notes in there?

Mr. Fox   47:46

It’s not handy during a scene No, but later on. Yes,

Little Kaninchen  47:49

Yeah. So you can go back and read what worked and what didn’t.

Mr. Fox   47:51

And the key for us Dom’s probably is to go back and look at it before the next scene.

Little Kaninchen  47:57

Of course, afterward, it would be too late. Definitely submissives journals, their feelings, journal, your feelings about the whole process. What you liked and what you know you didn’t like about the training session. Share that with your sir, in downtime even. It’s very important. And it’s really fun to go back and look at that like a year later and see how you felt about those things. It will stir emotions that you maybe you haven’t felt for a while.

Mr. Fox   48:24

I’m gonna go back to your number one because when do we do these things? Like I think every single scene that we do we have orgasm control in it.

Little Kaninchen  48:30

Yes.

Mr. Fox   48:31

Every single scene.  Probably from the very first one.

Little Kaninchen  48:36

Because of my number one rule if I don’t come without permission.

Little Kaninchen  48:39

So the whole time I’m trying to perform for my sir and not do it.

Mr. Fox   48:45

Right. I would say that that element is in almost every scene no matter what, whether I want you to come right away, I want you to hold it I want you to edge like that. There’s like your orgasms just aren’t something that’s going to happen. They’re going to somehow have my control over them. And no matter what else is going on, it’s like a layer of a scene.  Which could even change during the scene, right? It could be edging.  It could be denial.  It could be a multitude of things in the exact same scene.  Which I would think it is in most scenes.  Annually?

Little Kaninchen  49:18

Well, actual training sessions where you are actually partaking in the training of some of the orgasms.

Mr. Fox   49:26

So the scene is just that.

Little Kaninchen  49:28

Yes.

Mr. Fox   49:28

Okay.

Little Kaninchen  49:29

Yes. And people do ask me how many sessions. Well, you sit down with your server and you discuss it and he’ll decide if he wants to take you through maybe four sessions to get you better and better and better at it. Of course, once you get pretty in control of yourself, and he’s satisfied with that like you said, is probably in some part of your scene all along. But a year later, you can come back and be like, okay, we’re gonna do a little bit of training and you’re showing me what you can do. And then you take it a little further, it always stays fresh that way.

Mr. Fox   50:04

If a guy asked me, how many times I would tell him, figure out what your goal is.

Little Kaninchen  50:09

Right. Make a plan. What’s your intention?

Mr. Fox   50:12

Right. And then I would use that and figure out how close are you to your goal.

Little Kaninchen  50:17

And hopefully, it takes a really long time to get there.

Mr. Fox   50:20

Unlike most goals, because in my mind, I’m thinking like something physical, right?

Little Kaninchen  50:23

Your going to ask the man is a four, we’ll do like four sessions? And you’re like, Well, what about 40 sessions?

Mr. Fox   50:29

Right. I would set a goal.

Little Kaninchen  50:31

And then it is really fun to sit down with the other submissives that have done it and talk about your experience having these sessions. You laugh, some women have just cried because, you know, there are so many things that come up sometimes during those sessions. or maybe you’re going through a life change and it spurs something inside of you. We’ve laughed, we’ve cried, we’ve done just about everything in association to talking about this training.

Mr. Fox   50:58

Somehow we ought to come up with like, when I say challenge, not like a contest in any way. But some, like homework or whatever you call it on your website with some kind of orgasm training.

Little Kaninchen  51:09

Yes, we’ve done it in the past.

Mr. Fox   51:12

So maybe give everybody like, drop-down menus or choices, and then they can choose what they’re going to do and how they’re going to do it and then maybe get back together as a group and talk about it.

Little Kaninchen  51:22

Absolutely. You know, there’s a couple of months of the year where that would definitely work to have subMrs and husDOM homework.

Mr. Fox   51:32

Maybe this is a good one.

Little Kaninchen  51:33

Yeah, I think so.

Mr. Fox   51:35

I’m liking it.

Little Kaninchen  51:35

Okay. Well, I think that ends our orgasm training and sessions topic.

Little Kaninchen  51:43

Are you thinking this dynamic could really work for you and your spouse? Have things gotting a little robotic, or dull? Do you need some spice in your marriage or your bedroom? We invite you to visit subMrs.com and husDOM.com to find out more about marriage’s sexiest secret and how to begin your journey in it.

Mr. Fox   52:05

We want to take a minute now to thank our podcast listeners for their time.

Little Kaninchen  52:10

Merci.

Mr. Fox   52:11

Thank you. We know how precious Your time is.

Little Kaninchen  52:14

It’s Golden Stay Golden ponyboy.

Mr. Fox   52:18

If you’ve enjoyed today’s episode and want more.

Little Kaninchen  52:22

Yes, I want more.

Mr. Fox   52:23

Subscribe to the podcast and give us a five-star rating. While you’re there, leave us some positive feedback.  Let us know how we’re doing. If that’s not enough, and you want it, Harder.

Little Kaninchen  52:33

Harder harder.

Mr. Fox   52:34

Follow us on all of our social media which are linked to the bottom of this podcast. You never know what special offers you may find there. Help us by spreading the word of marriage’s sexiest secret by mentioning us to your married friends.

Little Kaninchen  52:49

All your married friends need to know.

Mr. Fox   52:52

And I do want to say that okay and I am also looking at our Instagram a little bit more than we normally do. So check us out on Instagram. There’s marriages sexiest secret. There’s husDOM their subMrs. lk has a personal Instagram which is bunny bunninfox Bunny N Fox. My Instagram is mrfox underscore husDom. Hope to see you there.

Little Kaninchen  53:25

Until next time, au revoir.

Little Kaninchen  53:28

Goodbye

Little Kaninchen  53:28

From our Wonderland This is lk

Mr. Fox   53:31

and Mr. Fox

Little Kaninchen  53:32

Reminding you that

Mr. Fox   53:33

our communities are the only place to learn bedroom marital DsM and the new leader supporter lifestyle.

Little Kaninchen  53:41

Discover our method and live the dynamic marriage’s sexy secret the ultimate marriage accessory.

Mr. Fox   53:53

Anymore little French comments put in there LK before we go. No, no.

Little Kaninchen  53:58

How do you say fuck me in French?

Mr. Fox   54:01

I don’t know but I bet that’s pretty universal.

Little Kaninchen  54:04

Fuck Me?

Mr. Fox   54:04

Yeah, I bet if you said that to a French man, he would pick up on what you were saying.

Little Kaninchen  54:08

You would think I say fuck you, fuck me.

Mr. Fox   54:10

No, I doubt he would think that.

Little Kaninchen  54:11

Little Kaninchen  54:11

Little Kaninchen  54:11

Little Kaninchen  54:16

Baiser Moi

Mr Fox   54:18

Baiser Moi

Mr Fox   54:19

Say like you mean?

Little Kaninchen  54:20

Baiser Moi…

Mr Fox   54:23

There you go.

Little Kaninchen  54:27

Oh, wait, I want you to fuck me.

Little Kaninchen  54:30

Here is, I want you to fuck me.

Mr. Fox   54:31

You know I’m gonna put this in the podcast.

Little Kaninchen  54:35

Right here.  Oh, what it doesn’t say it to me on this Hold on.

Mr. Fox   54:41

You mean it doesn’t talk dirty to you? What kind of app is that?

Little Kaninchen  54:47

I have to get it to say it because I can’t say it unless it…   say I want you to fuck me. I want you to

Mr. Fox   54:58

Oui Oui

Little Kaninchen  54:59

Ready?

Mr. Fox   55:01

That’s a lot to say. That’s a mouthful

Little Kaninchen  55:03

Je veux que tu me baise

Little Kaninchen  55:06

Why don’t you just hide your skirt up and I get the idea?

Little Kaninchen  55:09

Je veux que tu me baise,  Nevermind.

Mr. Fox   55:19

Just touch yourself lk, I’ll understand.

Little Kaninchen  55:21

We’re just ending

Mr. Fox   55:22

Alright.

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