MSS014 – Year of the Tiger / Tigress | Sex with the Lights On!

MSS0014 – Year of the Tiger – Sex with the lights on

Sun, 1/30 6:26AM • 53:35

SUMMARY KEYWORDS

partner, sexy, marriage, bastinado, couples, lights, sex, tiger, dynamic, bedroom, mind, body,  secret, foot torture

SPEAKERS

Mr Fox , Little Kaninchen

Little Kaninchen  00:01

Do you want to know a secret? secret! Do you want to have a secret? A dirty little secret? A New Year’s secrets that you build and share with your spouse.  A secret that is so magical and so intimate in ways you could only imagine. Oh, come on, you must be the smallest bit curious. Shh. Marriage has a sexy new secret, secret, a relationship accessory of sorts. This secret fulfills the wife’s need for a deep emotional connection with her husband, and the husband’s desire for his wife’s trust and respect. So just as a New Year’s ball drops. Fall down the rabbit hole into the foxes den where Mr. Fox and I share our secrets Our secrets will inspire you to explore, create and build marital sexual magic, all the while giving you better relationship skills. Let us take you on a journey that leads you both to what you desire most a sexy successful marriage. Just like Alice. Pick up that bottle that says Drink Me and then toss it back. In other words, go ahead drink the Kool Aid. We can give your marriage all the edge without you or it ever getting cut.

Mr Fox   01:46

Today’s voyeurs glimpse greetings from marriages Wonderland resident Fox and hare. I am Mr. Fox and this is LK. Today we are your host and hostess to your favorite flavor of erotic madness. Married dominance and submission aka Marriages Sexiest Secret. Welcome to Marriages Sexy Secret podcast where we are in the jungle. Welcome to the Jungle. Isn’t that a song? LK.

Little Kaninchen  02:19

Yes, it is.

Mr Fox   02:20

I thought you’d be talking about Welcome to the Jungle. Oh, very nice.

Little Kaninchen  02:27

Okay, voyeurs you Cheshire cats. Here is your peek inside today’s podcast. Welcome to the year of the tiger 2022. A New Year is always encompassed by setting new year’s resolutions. This year, let’s make sure we include marital resolutions, things like having sex with the lights on. On this podcast, we talk about gaining control and your intimacy, a better bedroom perspective and getting rid of those hang ups that keeps your sex in the dark. Literally. Let’s talk subMrs. Our January theme is putting the best foot forward into the new year. Our mentor chat topic is Bastinado. Why? Because this month is international fetish month. And we always think of foot fetish, don’t we? We thought that bastinado would be a great topic, foot torture. This act is comprised of repetitive blunt trauma to the soles of the feet. On subMrs we always mix pleasure with pain. So we’ll explore foot torture and pleasure in foot and toe play. This is the year to become that tiger or tigress, Start with having sex with the lights

Mr Fox   03:50

Not the lights on

Little Kaninchen  03:51

Yes with the lights on. Did you know Mr. Fox that practicing D/s-M makes you really want to have a better self image and a better image of your partner? 

Mr Fox   04:01

Absolutely. 

Little Kaninchen  04:03

A new illumination happens you will finally be able to see each other’s inner self and beauty. Instead of the rose colored glasses we’re going to talk about putting on our Tiger striped glasses. Happy New Year everyone. 2022 is the year of the tiger. Let’s get started.

Mr Fox   04:22

The Tiger symbolizes willpower, courage and personal strength. This describes the attributes of a successful married couple. It takes willpower to continue to work on and strengthen your intimacy, especially when your life and other areas get difficult or becomes more challenging. Wives, it takes courage to allow space for your husband to lead to lead you to lead in the relationship and to lead your family. Both of you work toward these goals. This will look different for every couple. It takes personal strength to be relentless in your desire for happiness and fulfillment in your marriage. People born in the Year of the Tiger are vigorous and ambitious, daring, enthusiastic, generous, self confident, with a sense of justice and commitment to help other people for the greater good. This year, we all need to take a bit of the Tiger into us, especially into our marriage, and it’s intimacy. This correlates really well into D/s-M. The couples that discover D/s-M and find the courage to take that journey with their partner possess many, if not the same attributes as those that are born into the year of the tiger. 

Little Kaninchen  05:41

Let’s cover these Tiger characteristics and how they connect with your new dynamic will say vigorous, ambitious, enthusiastic, generous, self confident, a sense of justice and commitment to help others for the greater good.  We start with vigorous, vigorous couples seem to begin this journey with vigor, having a clear and concise path in their relationship. This creates an excitement and fortifies a strong energy and a healthy mindset. In other words, a lively flourishing D/s-M marriage can either maintain or restore that passion and adventure that belongs in every marriage.  Let’s get ambitious. Let’s talk about being ambitious, having are showing a strong desire and determination to succeed. Again, by pursuing and growing in your dynamic and your roles, you are showing that ambition.  Enthusiastic, having or showing an intense high energy or eagerness for enjoyment, interest, and approval, jump on in the waters great, go 100% in and fulfill both your needs, get involved in the community and grow those roles.  Let’s go into the generous aspect. Being generous is showing our readiness to give more of something as money or time than is strictly necessary or expected. By both of you committing to your new dynamic, you are in essence giving more of your heart more of your mind and more of your soul.

Mr Fox   07:14

And I would say to LK, that probably the most valuable thing we have is time whether we realize that or not. Right? Like our society, we’re so focused on money, but it’s really the time are you putting in a time and the energy and the effort into the relationship and into your spouse and your partner? Yes. Are you giving them that time? Or is it just always like I don’t have time for this?

Little Kaninchen  07:34

Yes, like being generous means that you may have to let something else go. If your plates are so full of everybody. I talked to many women that say Oh, but our plates are so full, we need to examine those plates when you first start D/s-M and look at those plates, and find those places those things, maybe you can let go of that you can fill that plate a little bit with your D/s-M.

Mr Fox   07:58

And I really do think too, that most of us like we may all feel I feel extremely busy, right? I feel like my days are packed from beginning to end. But there is time in there. There’s time that I’m doing something that’s probably not fulfilling or pushing us toward our goals or fulfilling our D/s-M or marriage. Yes, it’s

Little Kaninchen  08:16

Yes, it’s an investment. It’s the number one best investment.

Mr Fox   08:21

So use your time more wisely. So what I would say, your marriage, your D/s-M should be right at the top of what’s most important, I would think so it requires your time.  And who would you want to give to more than your partner?  Nobody? Because they give back? 

Little Kaninchen  08:36

Yes…

Mr Fox   08:36

It’s really annoying when you use the word investment. I mean, it’s great, right? You get a direct ROI or return on your investment.

Little Kaninchen  08:43

Dividends are gold.  Yeah.  Let’s move on to self confidence. Okay, so when we’re talking about self confidence is trusting in one’s abilities, qualities and judgment. You both will find a new self to build on and grow in. You both will become more confident in your marriage and its intimacy as you practice D/s-M.

Mr Fox   09:03

Isn’t that crazy? Yes. It’s totally true, though. The more the more and it’s probably communication. Dont you think?

Little Kaninchen  09:12

All those great foundational things that we preach and preach on subMrs and HusDOM. 

Mr Fox   09:17

Yeah, the trusts communication. Those things give you a lot of confidence that you know what the other person’s thinking, what their expectations are. You don’t waste all that time and energy guessing or speculating in your mind.

Little Kaninchen  09:30

Yes, you clean the slate. That’s one of the things we have in the method, you clean that slate and then you start building. And it will give you both a new self confidence in yourself within yourself and in your marriage.

Mr Fox   09:43

And I would say for myself LK it’s a confidence that I probably never experienced before.  Right Because instead I’m always in my mind wondering well, is she thinking this or is she thinking that or

Little Kaninchen  09:54

It clears the would have should have could have right out of your marriage.

Mr Fox   10:00

Justice and commitment to help others for the greater good. What does this look like? Well, a couple suggestions might be commit to helping your partner become the very best version of themselves that they can be.  Not necessarily the best version of themselves through your eyes, rather the best version of themselves through their eyes. This will also be an enlightening part of your journey. Imagine how much you learn about your partner when you begin to see them the way that they see themselves. Another way to do this would be to make the commitment to becoming a part of the community. Join our teams to help others in their journey into D/s-M.  The value of peer to peer learning cannot be overstated.  All too often people will become paralyzed by staying in the accumulating knowledge stage, right? We’ve all heard of that. They always feel that if they only knew a little bit more than they would be a better resource to help others. That keeps everybody in their comfort zone. The real growth happens when you step out of that comfort zone and begin to have real conversations. When you begin to analyze and have critical thinking about various topics, this type of growth only happens by participating. It’s time to level up. Let’s all participate.

Little Kaninchen  11:21

You know it is that time that time for New Year’s resolutions. How about adding those marital resolutions to your list? For example, you might say this year, I’ll spice up my marriage. This year, I’ll make a new and real connection with my spouse. This year, I’ll spend more sexy time with my partner. 

Mr Fox   11:41

Yeah

Little Kaninchen  11:43

 This year, I will become the tiger or tigress and have sex with the lights on. What? That’s just crazy talk some people say.  When couples first come to our communities, one of the first things that we teach them about the method is it’s time to be shameless. To get rid of any feelings of shame associated with sex. Time to stop being shy and accept that everyone, even you, can be a sexual and sensual being.  A tiger or tigers in the bedroom. So we will take the first step and start out this year of the tiger with turning the lights on in the bedroom. Getting your tiger to roar and your pussy ready to purr.

Mr Fox   12:41

Alright, LK, moving on what makes couples turn off the lights? Click… Our self confidence or lack of self confidence is probably the most common reason among couples. Right? Would you agree? 

Little Kaninchen  12:55

Absolutely.

Mr Fox   12:56

It is your mind or your body that is making things dim. The two reasons for being unconfident with the lights on are two major things I should say. Probably is body confidence. You think LK?

Little Kaninchen  13:10

Yes, that’s probably the number one. 

Mr Fox   13:12

Right? 

Little Kaninchen  13:13

You fight it now, you’ll fight it forever. But you got to put in the fight. You got to be the tiger.

Mr Fox   13:18

Roar. It’s no secret that many women and yes, men too. There’s plenty of men in our community that have the same problem. They don’t like the way that they look especially naked. So the question is, How comfortable are you with your body? Even in front of your spouse? Honestly, is there any hang up? Is there any at all?  The second reason or the next reason is the mind the lack of confidence in your mind, or shyness. So for an example, maybe you’ve never had sex with the lights on before and you don’t even know what your partner’s body really looks like. You’re just shy about the whole thing. 

Little Kaninchen  13:56

Yeah, thinking to yourself, what your body looks like, makes you cringe. So it causes a shyness.

Mr Fox   14:03

Right

Little Kaninchen  14:04

Or you think it’s dirty? You think what you’re doing is dirty right?

Mr Fox   14:07

Maybe it’s just an you’re uncomfortable with the nudity altogether. Right?

Little Kaninchen  14:12

These are very, very common hangups I hear almost every single month.

Mr Fox   14:17

Yeah, so maybe it’s not even that your body isn’t what you want it to be. But just the whole idea of being naked is makes you uncomfortable.

Little Kaninchen  14:24

Yes. So either it’s your mind or your body confidence or your mind confidence that you need to work on or you will work on as you work in this type of dynamic.

Mr Fox   14:36

You know, when you just get into marriages, LK, things that I’ve read. So this isn’t just D/s-M, but just in marriages, like there are married couples that have never seen their partner’s body naked.

Little Kaninchen  14:46

Yes, there are people that have five and six children that have never seen each other naked in light after the first child is born.

Mr Fox   14:55

Right or even before.

Little Kaninchen  14:56

That’s why we’re doing this podcast because this is the number one thing that people have to work on when they start this dynamic. 

Mr Fox   15:03

It seems so foreign to me, right? Like I have spotlights and magnifying glass, all kinds of crazy stuff.  

Little Kaninchen  15:09

Yes, but you don’t start there. You start being shy or thinking things are dirty. 

Mr Fox   15:13

Your absolutely right.

Little Kaninchen  15:14

Or you’re just not confident, you know, age comes and sodas, pounds, and you don’t look as good as you did. But you’ve got to start somewhere.

Mr Fox   15:23

Right. And that was that second example, the whole thing of shyness. Like, we need to get past that shyness. 

Little Kaninchen  15:27

Yeah

Mr Fox   15:28

If we really want to excel if we want to have.

Little Kaninchen  15:30

Yes. And it comes easily. I know right. Now, to some people, they’re thinking, Oh, my gosh, I can never, I don’t, I don’t think I could do this. Honestly, once you start this dynamic, we give you the foundations, it starts coming to you naturally, it’s very organic. So you may shake your head now. But I’m telling you, it comes very naturally as you do this dynamic.

Mr Fox   15:53

And it really should with your partner. I mean, it’s a whole different level of comfort to walk down the street naked, right, but with your partner in your intimacy, in the privacy of your own home, it should be yes, a very natural and comfortable.

Little Kaninchen  16:06

It never needs to go out of your bedroom or your house and never needs to go anywhere, unless that’s where you take it.

Mr Fox   16:13

Right. But almost to find that level of intimacy, like you have to have in that trust, and those foundations we keep talking about, but you really have to have that I think.

Little Kaninchen  16:22

And it comes it come, We’re gonna say we’re going to let that go and give ourselves grace. You know, that’s one of the things that I’m gonna be adding to our foundations is giving grace. And that grace extends to yourself. So know that hang ups are human. You know, give yourself a pat on the back and be like, Okay, I’m just human.

Mr Fox   16:43

Everybody has them or had them or I would say even has them, right? Yeah, some degree no matter how comfortable you are, there’s a hang up somewhere. 

Little Kaninchen  16:50

Don’t let them ruin what could be great. hang ups are really limited beliefs. We’re not going to get deep into limited beliefs. But there are those things that we tell ourselves like, I’m not sexy, or I’m not sexy enough. I’m not young anymore. I’m not young enough. Who would want this body? My body looks terrible. Maybe I’m just not worth it. So you think to yourself, What am I today sitting here? Think those positive aspects that you can pull from that would make you feel sexy, or young. Young people are not the only ones who have great sex. Actually, I think scientifically, it says, or it’s shown that you get better as sex as you age. That’s because you get past these hang ups.

Mr Fox   17:43

Yeah, I second that. And also too, it becomes about the other person a little bit, right? less selfish. Like learning how to please the other partner.

Little Kaninchen  17:53

Yes. And getting past the wrinkles or the bulges.

Mr Fox   17:57

Hey, hey, I don’t have any bulges. 

Little Kaninchen  18:00

Well I mean, we all got a little bulges here and there.

Mr Fox   18:02

I do have a big bulge somewhere.

Little Kaninchen  18:04

In the right place. But we digress. But 2022 We want to get past the hang ups, face them, you give them a name. And then once you give them that name, you break free of them. So you’re changing your mind. You’re changing your perspective, keyword Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding. You’re changing your limited beliefs. You got to change those limiting beliefs.

Mr Fox   18:32

Yeah, and that really is like the key word right perspective, like our lives are our perspective. 

Little Kaninchen  18:38

Yes, we’re gonna put on those Tiger striped glasses and look through them this year. 

Mr Fox   18:41

Love it. Love it. Okay. That was our cat, actually.  Limiting beliefs moving on, right, limiting beliefs, our thoughts, opinions that one believes to be the absolute truth. They tend to have a negative impact on one’s life by stopping them from moving forward or growing on a personal or professional level. These limited beliefs could be about you, your interactions with others, or with the world and its workings.

Little Kaninchen  19:16

That’s right. So we talk about those limited beliefs. And we said a few of what we tell ourselves, but we need to stop doing that. And I have to tell you, this hang up goes away too. As you practice D/s-M, you will stop doing those things. I mean, nobody’s 100%, right? But you’re gonna have days where you just will not think like that anymore. So we’re going to talk about perspective. So it’s all about perspective. Everything is about your perspective. If you walk around with a bad perspective about everything, your day is gonna be bad, your life is gonna suck. You need to change your perspective about your marriage and about yourself.  Okay, so it starts with a perception of sex. Sex is not a dirty thing. Sex is a beautiful, natural connection between two people, maybe more, but we’re gonna go to talk about two people. Most of us being married, we are married and monogamously committed to our partners. Who else would you explore the darkest kinkiest parts of your mind and body with? Who better to do that with?

Mr Fox   20:21

Right? And I would say, LK, when we’re talking about this, too, when we talk about the limiting beliefs, like I’m trying to think of a couple in my mind that I hear people say all the time, and one of them would be that maybe I have small children. So I can’t D/s-M because there’s small children in the house. And that’s a limiting belief, right?

Little Kaninchen  20:39

Yes. It’s not actually proven until you try.

Mr Fox   20:43

Right? So like, maybe, with young children in the house, your relationship or your dynamic might look a little different, right? But everybody’s relationships different anyways.

Little Kaninchen  20:52

Yes. Or we have to take care about elderly parents. So we can’t we don’t have time for this. Again, it’s about how are you going to fill your plate?

Mr Fox   21:00

Right. And that would be a perfect limiting belief. So it’s kind of like how, how true is that? Right? You almost need that coach. 

Little Kaninchen  21:06

Right? 

Mr Fox   21:06

You almost need to contact LK because she coaches on the side. And you almost need to have that coach talk to you about those things. How true is that limiting belief in your life?

Little Kaninchen  21:14

Right? Right. Like how full is your plate? Where would you invest? All those things kind of lead back to one another? 

Mr Fox   21:22

Yeah. 

Little Kaninchen  21:23

Sex is fun. And sex is not a sin. Who else should you explore the sex with? Who else should you open up to in ways you may have never before?  Your husband, of course, your partner, your lover, the person you have put many years into.  A relationship that has been built on a strong foundation. Okay, so you have to become accepting of who and what you look like. We’re all human beings, husbands, wives partners with another person, your person, the person whom you have decided to attach yourself until death do you part? Don’t you want to die with a big smile on your face? I think everybody does. 

Mr Fox   22:03

I want a worn out body. Yeah, not another breath to be taken and all the experiences I can have.

Little Kaninchen  22:08

Yes, you’ve invested your mind, body soul in a person.  You need and want the dividends that come with such an investment. You deserve to have a magical, loving, hot, sexy, and kinky marriage.  So stop self loathing. That’s one of the other things I want to say stop the self loathing and accept yourself in your partner for what you are and where you are in your life. So many women are like, Oh, I’m so fat. When I look in the mirror. I can’t even look at myself. But you’ve given your husband, children, you’re not in that same place anymore. You have to look at where you are in your life.

Mr Fox   22:51

Right? But also like the guy, your husband, your partner probably just sees you as the sexiest goddess on Earth. It’s not how you see yourself. It’s how your partner sees you.

Little Kaninchen  23:02

Yes, and that’s putting these Tiger striped glasses on. Like most of us are not 20 year olds anymore, and we’re not supermodels. So let’s quit comparing ourselves with that unachievable picture in our head, that bad perspective. If we have shame over our bodies, and D/s-M gives you a great reason to change it. Stop the shame and self loathing. Both partners need to get on the same frame of thought the same boat. Get your sexy back like Justin Timberlake. Use the Eye of the Tiger like Rocky. Set an intention to both find your sexy internally and externally. Everybody has that thing about themselves. You got a bumping hot ass, or you got great tits. Like there is some place everybody has parts of themselves.

Mr Fox   23:51

I wasn’t gonna say anything. LK, but my breasts are pretty nice. 

Little Kaninchen  23:53

Yeah, you do have good brass. 

Mr Fox   23:55

Yeah, they’re rockin. 

Little Kaninchen  23:56

But you have to start somewhere, you got to find those positives, quit thinking about the negatives. Think about the positives. Look at what your relationship can be, rather than maybe what it is at first sight. There’s that word need again, you will feel the need for a better self. When you start doing this. All of a sudden, you’re like, Yeah, I can make time to maybe jump on the treadmill. You know what, I’m going to change my eating habits a little bit where they can visually seeing ourselves and your partner as a sexual being.  You are internally that same sexy man or woman that you were 10, 20, 30 years ago. That never changes what’s inside. So bring that inside sexy back out. Think what could you do and take a step. The first step in finding that sexy again, we talk about self improvement.  Self improvement starts in the mind and moves into the body. And I think that everybody knows this, but I don’t think we are reminded enough, self care is sexy.  When you talk about some type of self improvement. Have you ever noticed that people’s ears perk up? That’s why it’s such a big movement right now self care.  Taking control and self control is sexy to everyone. It’s that tiger. You know, when you look at somebody who’s taking care of themselves or trying to take care of themselves, you look at them and you’re like, oh, wow, I should be doing that. Self care is not just about working out. It’s about taking control. It’s about being more restrictive. Trying to be a better YOU having a better marriage. When people know that you’re actually involved in a dynamic that is building your relationship skills. That’s building your sexual hotness in the bedroom sexual hotness. They seriously, we’ll be jealous. 

Mr Fox   25:56

LK, some how during these podcasts, you always get me so excited. I can’t wait to like wrap it up and go downstairs for whatever reason, sexual hotness is doing it for me.

Little Kaninchen  26:06

Self serving self care.

Mr Fox   26:10

You said something a minute ago that like is so worthy to repeat maybe two or three times. And what you said was self improvement starts in the mind and then moves into the body. 

Little Kaninchen  26:21

Yes, 

Mr Fox   26:22

Yeah. Because so many people I think, want to look a certain way before they feel a certain way,

Little Kaninchen  26:26

Right? And sex begins in the mind and goes to the body.

Mr Fox   26:29

Right? But once you embrace the feeling, and you’re talking about visualizing, then those things begin to materialize for you, right? Like that, quote, self improvement starts in the mind and moves into the body like that was awesome.

Little Kaninchen  26:43

Yeah, you have to have the want.

Mr Fox   26:46

Yep, and be able to see it that it’s a reality in your mind. 

Little Kaninchen  26:49

Yes.

Mr Fox   26:49

To make it happen.

Little Kaninchen  26:50

And then take that I’m gonna go put my coaching hat on, but you got to take that first step and you have to ask yourself, what is that first step? What can I do to feel better about myself feel better about my marriage?

Mr Fox   27:03

Yeah, love it. Great conversation.

Little Kaninchen  27:08

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Mr Fox   28:13

Speaking of conversations, having sex with the lights on or during the day, that’s scary stuff, it can actually enhance your control during sex. Oftentimes, both men and women, having sex with the lights on or during the day can actually enhance your control during sex. What do you think of that?

Little Kaninchen  28:34

It’s obvious but not so obvious.

Mr Fox   28:36

Oftentimes, both men and women can get caught up in their heads about what is visually going on. Especially when we can’t actually see what’s happening. Our minds will begin to fill in the blanks for us. And sometimes our minds don’t put our best foot forward. We’re not very complimentary to ourselves. Having sex with the lights on actually allows us to be more present in the moment and take more decisive actions. Instead of our minds wandering around and often creating negative scenarios that do not really even exist. We now have another source of information we have visual information coming in. The darkness is now illuminated in our minds now have something real to focus on. Sight is another form of stimulation right? Women and men are both stimulated during sex by seeing things. This added stimulation also helps us get out of our heads and more into the moment. Many couples find that having sex with the lights on increases in renews or participation in their desires. When it makes perfect sense. Having sex with the lights on gives each partner an entire new catalogue of sexy stimulating images to add to their database, right the database of memories that they have. We look back on these images in our minds and remind ourselves of the pleasures that we expect with their partner,

Little Kaninchen  30:01

Yes, I think about there are certain scenes and play times we’ve had that will stick in my mind for forever.

Mr Fox   30:09

It happens to me all the time. And I think for guys, too, because we have a better point of view, right? Like we were seeing all of this stuff. And I think like for myself visually, like, visually turned on almost the most. And then carrying those thoughts with me, right, like something might trigger a thought during the afternoon when I’m not even at home. And I’ll be looking back on that remembering our intimacy together, right, it just brings back a feeling instantly. When our memories are coupled with other senses, they’re more profound and meaningful. In other words, we as couples will begin to fantasize and be turned on by one another in the little things that we share during that intimacy. Look out porn. There’s a new competition in the house.

Little Kaninchen  30:54

That’s right, they always have the lights on and porn.

Mr Fox   30:57

Well, you know what? That’s true. It’d be pretty boring porn. Black Room and

Little Kaninchen  31:02

Even though some of porn I wish it would be a little dimmer in there, because we pay attention to the drapes and the sofa and the pimples on their butts.

Mr Fox   31:11

You pull up some pretty crazy stuff. Your Google account has some pretty insane stuff on it.

Little Kaninchen  31:17

Yes, if something happens to me dump my computer before you ever turn it in.

Mr Fox   31:23

But already, the audio and videos are so horrible, right? The fake moans and stuff. So yeah, if it was just a black room, it would be really terrible.

Little Kaninchen  31:31

Yeah. So we’re gonna say be like the porn people and turn the lights on. You know, you don’t have to video it. But at least turn the lights on.

Mr Fox   31:41

Becoming better at marital intimacy is a team effort. But you will find that personally, you have to work on things for yourself to be that better partner, that trickles down to having a better overall marriage.

Little Kaninchen  31:55

I can’t say enough, I can’t say enough about that. All of this comes together D/s-M, the whole idea of this is to bring couples back into love.  Giving couples ways to communicate, ways to be together that they’ll never forget and it will be magical.  We’re gonna talk a little bit about taking control. Taking control is not just the dominant hand. Okay?  We talked about taking control of yourself, or having self care showing that you’re doing self care is so sexy to a spouse or a partner. So you take control of you, your bedroom atmosphere, your intimacy, partners that are more in control themselves, are more attracted to their spouses. So we’re going to talk a little bit about atmosphere when we’re taking control of things, right. We want to make sure that we have visually pleasing atmospheres in our bedrooms or wherever we’re having scenes or playtime, right? Does your bedroom feel relaxing or exciting, I mean, you don’t always have to have a relaxing spot atmosphere, it can also be very exciting or have pops of color, it doesn’t necessarily always have to be bland or completely picked up. It just has to have those little things that you both feel good about. Right. And we talked about this generally but new bedding new pillows, that always helps the feelings of being sexy and getting your sexy on clean up the room. Now I’m not saying has to be perfect. But I’m saying you know, make sure that the things that shouldn’t be in the bedroom or not. So I’m going to like bust it out there and tell you your exercise equipment does not belong in your bedroom. How long did I have exercises I’m in the bedroom a long time. A long time. Getting rid of that was one of the best things it like clear the air if you have items in your bedroom that are not bedroom related than screen them. I mean, some people have to and I understand that. So get a screen and screen them off. So you don’t see that. Okay, use great since we’re talking like essential oils or candles, find this perfect sense. Don’t just get any sense and light it up. Find a sense that really means something to you because I bought a million essential oils. And you know, when I really think about it, there’s only like two that I really, really enjoy. So find those perfect sense that make you feel something excited or relaxed. Find those good romantic lighting. You know, I’m not saying that you have to put spotlights on the other person while you’re having this fun, right? Even though you know you might want to do that too. But just have good lighting. You don’t have to necessarily have big bright spotlights. You can have lighting in there but lighting that you’re comfortable with

Mr Fox   35:00

I just want to point out to you that this is something that I talk a lot about on has DOM and that atmosphere, especially for where you’re having the scene is so important. And we talked about how as a dominant, you plan certain things to create that atmosphere. And it’s a lot of what you’re talking about right now. So and maybe for the guys, it’s not new bedding and new pillows, because I wouldn’t know how to pick anything out, right? Just it would turn out to be terrible. But I talk a lot about not even necessarily cleaning the room, but you don’t want to have like a basket of dirty laundry somewhere, right? That’s going to distract your wife or your submissive when they’re looking at work or things to do. So it is really important to make sure that you at least make a quick scan. And this is like your pre planning for a scene is what I’m talking about. Make that quick scan, make sure that there’s nothing laying around that is work or something that would distract her mind or take her out of the scene doesn’t take long, you don’t have to clean it, you don’t have to polish the furniture. This sense is a great one. I’ve talked about that a lot. Something I’m still trying to find a scent that I like. And Will is really not part of this podcast. But I’ll talk about it in our community a lot as I as I work that out in my own dynamic.

Little Kaninchen  36:13

Yeah. So then we go into taking control of our minds and bodies, right? So important. Like we said, this is so sexy. Like, when you’re like, ooh, that person is working out nap person is losing a little bit of way. And that person is it doesn’t even matter if it’s losing weight, it’s just taking that control over themselves is I think is ultimately sexy. And Mr. Fox is so in control of himself. I’m the one that’s not so much control of myself. But I find it super sexy that he takes care of himself. Like I can’t say enough about how sexy that is to me.

Mr Fox   36:53

Here’s what I would say right now, though, to everybody that’s listening, is that that’s what it’s about. It’s not even about how you see yourself. And okay, it means a lot that you say that you appreciate how hard I work at this. But I’ll be honest lately too, it is LK that is inspirational to me in the mornings. Like she has a routine that she just gets in her groove or her flow. And I in even me being well disciplined can just tag along on that routine, and I love it. But it’s acknowledging and recognizing that your partner does it right, she might still not look like a supermodel. But there’s a ton of things that will change somebody’s body.

Little Kaninchen  37:30

I’m not a supermodel.

Mr Fox   37:31

No, you are I’m talking about everybody.

Little Kaninchen  37:35

That’s a limiting belief.

Mr Fox   37:38

But it’s those things that you will see things change, maybe her postures more upright, maybe Her stomach’s a little harder, maybe it’s a little flatter, there are all these little things that we can recognize. And I’m not saying make them up you if you’re watching, if you’re paying attention, you will see things that are legitimately changing. And when you acknowledge that to the person, it will make them feel wonderful. Right? So that’s, that’s the other partners part in this whole take control of your mind and your body. Right, is to actually be paying close enough attention that you see the change, and that you acknowledge it it will light your partner on fire.

Little Kaninchen  38:19

Yeah, I think that we always look to our partners to have strengths that maybe we don’t have. And at least i i think I’m like that. So I am, I fall off the wagon. And but then I get back on and I fall off the wagon, I get back on. I think it’s important. You know, especially as we get a little bit older, we take good care of ourselves. So when I see Mr. Fox always doing that it, I love it. So even though I can’t stay that good at it, I can appreciate somebody who does.

Mr Fox   38:49

You’re getting pretty good at it. LK, 

Little Kaninchen  38:52

But we are going to talking about taking control of your mind and your body. So we’re talking about your overall health, right? Fitness, maybe a little workout, stretching, better posture, you know, if you’re not the person is into that full on workout, you don’t have to be, you know, you get up, you do stretches, you work on your posture, like I said, like Mr. Fox mentioned that he feels like that’s kind of a sexy thing, good posture, but are you gonna look at me, I am not one of those people, but I have to actually work it better posture, eating well, or eating better. You know, it’s not like you have to be this person that has to do everything in 100%. You know, as long as you’re doing making better choices, that’s the idea of eating well make better choices.

Mr Fox   39:36

What an important point that is to right. It’s not like you have to go from where you’re at today to insanely discipline but just that you’ve set a path to eat better.

Little Kaninchen  39:45

Yes, it’s just making better choices. 

Mr Fox   39:47

And whatever that looks like for you. 

Little Kaninchen  39:48

So if you’re looking at something and you want that big burrito, you know, or you could just have a turkey sandwich in your life, huh? What’s the better choice Turkey Sandwich try and make the better choice. Sometimes you’re gonna still eat the big burrito, right? But then if you’re making better choices more of the time, you’re actually making great progress. Again, stop the hang ups, right? So and this, this I can’t even talk enough about and I don’t do it, but I have started doing it and has made a huge difference in my life. And I would have never believed it 15 years ago, right, but getting enough rest, take control of your rest, get enough rest, take magnesium. Do those things that will help you rest. I think couple naps are great. I am not a great single Napper. But if my service home air Mr. Fox is home and and we have a time to go ahead and just lay down for like an hour. I’m going to take it every time that little bit of rest is so important for your mind. Like I can’t even explain how important getting enough rest is. So take control of your rest. Now get that rest in and even if you had take couple naps instead of capital’s playtime, you have couples naps, even better.

Mr Fox   41:12

No, no, no, not better. Maybe, maybe important.

Little Kaninchen  41:19

Yes. But you’ll have a better scene if you’re well rested. Okay, you’ll have a better day. If you’re well rested. That’s true. You’ll be a better person. If you’re well rested. That’s probably not true. Yeah. So I’m going to give it over to Mr. Fox.

Mr Fox   41:33

You’re going to give it up to me?

Little Kaninchen  41:34

I’m giving it up.

Mr Fox   41:35

I love this. I love it. filling in the blanks, or the darkness.

Little Kaninchen  41:41

Yeah, we talked about that earlier about how you fill these blanks or light up the darkness. Right? 

Mr Fox   41:46

I love those analogies, bringing light into the darkness. filling in the blank. Right filling in the darkness with the light being in the light can be stressful. And here are some things that you might be able to do in the light to help alleviate some of that stress. Maybe stay present with each other.

Little Kaninchen  42:05

Yeah, I think that’s important. You stay present. You don’t let your mind wander, you don’t start filling in the blanks that’s going through your head, like he thinks I’m fat. He’s looking at my fat. Oh, my God, look at his stomach. You got to not think negative. And you got to just stay present in that moment. And that’s tough. You learn how to do that. Again, once you start this dynamic and you practice and practice practice, you get better and better at just being present in that moment.

Mr Fox   42:35

Yeah, I think the mind is the biggest. I don’t want to say enemy right there, right. But I think each partner is probably finding that attribute or those attributes that they think are really hot and sexy in the moment. But if you’re laying there, and you’re not totally confident in yourself, you’re assuming that they’re thinking horrible things, right? The way maybe you criticize yourself in front of the mirror, but the odds are they’re not thinking that at all. They’re thinking about everything that they find hot.

Little Kaninchen  43:05

Yeah, and it’s there’s nothing wrong with checking each other and saying, Are you with me? Are you with, like, calmly? Are you with me? Like, when you’re new to this type of dynamic? It can be a little bit, you’ll be sweating, you know, at first doing things. So I would say check in with Jeff, are you with me? Are you good? Just make sure your partner is doing all right.

Mr Fox   43:26

Yeah. And don’t allow your mind to start making up stuff that isn’t happening. Yeah, stay on the negative end of it right back to what Okay, talking about perspective, it’s super important to have proper perspective.

Little Kaninchen  43:38

And being okay in silence. Silence is okay. Do those little check ins with each other as you’re doing certain things or whatever. Having sex with the lights on or during daytime is what we’re talking about. So just be okay with silence. Silence is okay, too. But we all like a little bit of verbal stuff, right, Mr. Fox?

Mr Fox   43:59

Absolutely. I love it. And also, if you find yourself getting in your own mind, like project that back to your partner to where you’re thinking, what what do I find extremely sexy about this right now? Instead of trying to think of all the things he might not find a sexy try to think of, like, look at him and be like, Oh my God, it really turns me on. Whatever it is right, x, y and z. It’ll change everything in that moment.

Little Kaninchen  44:23

Yeah. So you’re verbally being complimentary to yourself and your partner in your mind. Right?

Mr Fox   44:29

Right. And then say that to him. That’s the verbal part. Yeah. Oh my god. I love your strong arms.

Little Kaninchen  44:34

Yeah. And how and yeah, and how do we remember what to say? Or or lead ins like cheats or whatever. So we both I think both Mr. Fox and I both have the five senses are articles on our site. Use the five senses, articles that are on our sites, sight smell, all of that you can say oh, you smell so good. Right? All you pay your skin tastes so great. Use all your senses to verbalize. That’s an easy way to remember.

Mr Fox   45:06

It’s a super easy way to get started down that whole kind of talking sexy talking dirty type of thing. The five senses when you can’t remember anything like Okay, so let’s just go to those. What are you seeing? What are you smelling? What are you tasting? Right? What are you feeling?

Little Kaninchen  45:21

What are you hearing? I love your moans. Yeah, you know, give me more Mon, you know, start feeding off each other. And you can volley it’s so much fun to volley with your SIR. And you’ll get better and better at this in the bedroom. You can volley and like I say you always make your scenes into like the perfect theater, you know, the perfect movie or the perfect thing in your head. You just volley back and forth.

Mr Fox   45:46

Volley for a little while then the ball gag will come out. 

Little Kaninchen  45:48

Yeah. Then there, then you’re sirs of like quit bawling quit talking. Shut up.

Mr Fox   45:53

We’re gonna switch this up a little bit. 

Little Kaninchen  45:56

You just keep talking to each other. 

Mr Fox   45:58

I swear as we keep talking during the podcast, like my mind gets further and further in the gutter. 

Little Kaninchen  46:03

That’s the whole idea. 

Mr Fox   46:04

Yeah, these are good for me.

Little Kaninchen  46:05

So what’s our next one?

Mr Fox   46:09

I think probably like getting used to looking at one another, right?

Little Kaninchen  46:13

Yeah, I agree. Like, yeah, to just get used to seeing each other naked in the daylight. 

Mr Fox   46:21

You’ll be surprised you’re both gonna find each other. Sexy. Isn’t that crazy?

Little Kaninchen  46:25

Yeah. And like, sometimes we’ll just walk around the house naked, you know, like during the day, and it’s just normal to us where before? We never would do that. We never would have done that before. Don’t come peeking in our windows. 

Mr Fox   46:41

You might not find me so sexy.

Little Kaninchen  46:45

But your eyes say 1000 Words. So use your eyes to speak to don’t see, Mr. Fox. 

Mr Fox   46:50

Absolutely. 

Little Kaninchen  46:51

He can look at me in a certain way or certain manner. And as I say, you know, just think about back when you were a little kid and your mom would give you the eye or dad would give you the eye. And you knew that said oh my god, I’m gonna get a weapon when I get home. You know, or whatever. You know, I told aunt mole about her mole or whatever.

Mr Fox   47:08

Yeah. So they didn’t even need to say where do you were in trouble?

Little Kaninchen  47:11

Yeah, so the opposite here. beak with your eyes. Tell your partner how much you love them right with your eyes. Learn your own sensuality. Right. Learn your partner sensuality. So you’re going to reach out feel appreciate your partner through touching, rubbing exploring each other. Use that body exploration scene that’s on some misses.

Mr Fox   47:35

Yeah, and I talked about so much like the power of touch right, like physical connection between two people

Little Kaninchen  47:42

touches a number one thing the number one right? We have on subMrs on husDOM.

Mr Fox   47:50

It’s so important that like I don’t even know how to express it properly. I don’t know enough about it. You probably could enlighten me okay, but I swear there’s like a transfer of energy. Like there’s something about like it’s instantly calming. When when we’re skin on skin.

Little Kaninchen  48:06

Yes, it’s an energy. You put off energy I put off energy. I touch you, I give you my energy and receive yours. 

Mr Fox   48:13

It’s almost an instant stress relief to me to be touching your skin. That’s why spas make so much money. What kind of spas such every spa? Oh, not the spa type. But maybe I’ll start going. 

Little Kaninchen  48:26

You go all the time. But it feels really good to be touched. Right? And your partner should know your touch like No buddy else does. Right? Yeah, so and then I think I have like one last thing you can try when you first start. You don’t have to be butt naked right from a one beginning. But you know you be naked and use a blanket to comfort yourself. If you’re just like, I don’t want to be like, show my whole body at one time or you know, use a blanket by a special firm blanket the some of your I love those fake fur blankets. They’re so sexy. Make your get your little, your little nest going and you can just use a blanket to kind of cover yourself and let your SIR uncover you slowly. 

Mr Fox   49:15

Yeah, that’d be sexy in itself.

Little Kaninchen  49:16

Right and it’s freaking chilly. Usually sometimes. So a little Blinky is nice. 

Mr Fox   49:21

It is. 

Little Kaninchen  49:22

I think we’re just gonna start closing this out. It’s been a nice chat. I just have one little message with our new eyes projecting our new perception of sexual intimacy, ourselves and our partners. We can turn the lights on and focus on our partner and the pleasure we can give to one another. So I hope everybody tonight turns the lights on and has sex and has kinky fun sex and when you wake up the next day, you’re sore, but you can smile and know that you have made a little bit of magic with each other.

Mr Fox   50:00

Okay, Im in.

Little Kaninchen  50:02

Me too.  Thanks, everybody. 

Mr Fox   50:05

Yeah, and the other thing that I would say too, is I’m sure that LK, and I didn’t cover everything today. Like, we can’t think of everything right. So it would be really interesting if people had other ideas and they would go to the website and find this podcast article and just comment to it. I think it would be great to have the conversation.

Little Kaninchen  50:20

Yeah, please do, please do because we can’t think of everything and we’d love to hear your thoughts Yeah. Are you thinking this dynamic D/s-M would really work for you and your spouse, things getting a little robotic at home, maybe even dull? Have you both let the fire go out? Or do you just need to add a little more spice to your bedroom. We invite you to visit marriages sexiest secret, submissive, community, submissive, calm, and has dom.com the dominance only community to learn more about marriages sexy a secret and how to begin your journey. The calendar and articles are now open for everyone to partake.

Mr Fox   51:15

If you enjoyed today’s podcast, and it left your Tiger wanting more, subscribe to our podcast and please give us a five star rating. While you’re there, leave us a positive review. This will keep our podcasts coming. 

Little Kaninchen  51:31

We want to hear your voices.

Mr Fox   51:33

Right. The power of your comments and the ratings gives our podcasts a lot of visibility. It really helps us be found it helps us grow. That growth helps LK and I stay encouraged to continue our podcasts to try to make them more regular. Right, the podcasts are totally free. So if you feel like they’re benefiting you, if you feel like you’re getting something out of them, please show us that love and return. Just take 30 seconds, 60 seconds, whatever it takes. Leave us a five star rating and a positive review. If your podcast app doesn’t allow you to do that, you can go to marriages sexier secret.com. Go to the podcast section, click on any podcast and there’ll be an area where you can leave a review. We would so appreciate that. That’s going to help us grow our podcasts in 2022. It’s gonna encourage LK and I to start putting out podcasts more regularly. you’re

Little Kaninchen  52:29

So please, if enjoying it, we need to hear it. Yep. One last thing. Do you have friends that could be helped by our podcasts? Spread the word of marriages sexiest secret communities submissives on has Dom in their podcasts by mentioning us or sending the links to your married friends.

Mr Fox   52:46

Yes, we’re gonna try really hard and 2022 to be more consistent with our podcasts and we’re gonna try really hard to grow this podcast. I think the potential is really big. There’s a lot of people listening.

Little Kaninchen  52:58

Yes, so I’m just going to leave it here. Until next time, be the tiger or tygris have sex with the lights. Oh yes, that’s what we’re gonna do later. Yeah, so goodbye from our Wonderland where it’s all lit up. This is LK.

Mr Fox   53:16

And Mr. Fox, discover our method. Live the dynamic

Little Kaninchen  53:21

marriages sexy secret, the ultimate marriage accessory. secret secret